The Chinese word for relax is ‘Song’. It can be translated as relax, but also, soften, loosen, to let go. If you watch a teacher in China demonstrate ‘Song’, you can see them actively checking their body and softening the musles, letting go. They then take that state into their Tai Chi practice.
One way to relax is to do the Qi gong practice of dissolving. This is where you focus on the outer border of an area of tension and feel as if it can melt like wax becoming warm, melting and dropping down. You can also visualise ice melting to become water or even steam and come straight out of the body. This is best developed in a natural standing posture. This melting practice can be done for anything from 2 – 10 minutes to start with.
By far the biggest trick to relaxing is to keep your mind on it. Just a gentle, casual awareness of the process of relaxing / softening. In the little pauses in life, check and relax, soften, let go. The magic of relaxing is in returning your attention to it. If you keep glancing back at yourself through the day, seeing what you can soften, you will change your awareness to one of watchful, kind attention. This will change your state and eventually effect those around you.